Friday, January 23, 2015

It's about to get personal

I know this sounds silly, but when I was pregnant with Burton I was scared to death.

I was young. Like 18 young.

I was afraid I'd lose myself. I was afraid I'd never amount to anything. I was afraid I'd be stuck in Idaho Falls FOREVER.

Then Burton was born and my heart became overfilled with this love for this little being that I'd just met. (ok so did Buddy's <3)

A couple years later we tried to get pregnant again and I had a miscarriage... and I cried for weeks. We were lucky enough then get pregnant with little Madilyn and again we fell in love instantly.

Well fast forward a few years.... ok more like 5.  Buddy and I started talking about another little baby. So November 2013 we started trying... aka stopped b.c.. Well in January we found out we were expecting and we were so excited! We went to the Dr for the first visit  in January (right about this time a year ago) and there wasn't a heart beat, but my body just kept on thinking it was pregnant. Thanks body. So we decided to go a head with a D & C like the last time, just so we could emotionally move forward.

A little over a year later and a lot has happened. We've changed jobs. We've moved a 10 hour distance. New house. But one thing hasn't changed. It's just the four of us. We haven't given up yet, but it is scary to try and know that you might fail. (That goes for a lot of things in life actually)

Too often we take our blessing for granted. Look at your kids today and be grateful for them. Remember how hard you worked to get them here. Remember all the things you hope for them.

Motherhood is not what I expected, it's a whole lot more. (more laughter, more tears, more fears, more jokes, more snuggles, more love).

No comments:

Post a Comment